Always
by Nimoko
Summary: Carrot comes to terms with his feelings for Marron.


Author's Notes: Okay, I believe that Carrot and Marron love each other more than just as brothers. Nothing really happens in this fic besides a bit of kissing, but it borderlines on incest tendencies. If this squicks you, don't read on.  
  
Another note. Yes, I know the title sucks. I cannot think up titles for the life of me. If anyone has any other sugesstions for something better, let me know! Thanks!  
  
Special thanks go to Mrs. Pagals, my chem teacher. Without her God awful boring classes, I would never have gotten a change to sit down and write this.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but, damn, a girl can dream!  
  
  
  
  
I almost lost him today. That's all that has been going through my mind since we set up camp. I almost lost him. Just the thought of it sets my heartbeat racing and shortens my breath with fear. I was so scared. Not of the forbidden magic itself, but that because of fighting the forbidden magic, I may lose my brother. I can't stand to think about it.  
  
Marron means the world to me. I cannot imagine a life without him. Life would hold no joy for me if he were not living it with me. Like the darkness of a night without stars, I would have long ago been plunged into endlessness of oblivion without him. He is my lifeline, the very reason I get up in the morning. He is my life.  
  
Giving up on sleep, I stand and quietly tiptoe past Tira to where Marron sleeps, curled up in a ball on the hard ground. He looks so innocent and peaceful. And young... so very young. Too young to be risking his life daily. Too young for this life. I long to see him sleep in a real bed than on the uncomfortable, dirty ground. I wish he could lead a normal life. But what good is wishing for something that will never come true?  
  
It's at times like this, in the dead of night, that I am able to give up my pretenses and let myself feel the emotions I try so hard to hide. I love Marron. But it's more than brotherly love. I LOVE him. He knows I do. And I know he loves me that way too. But I won't let myself feel this way. He deserves better than me. Marron deserves so much more that I could ever offer him.  
  
So I fight it. I chase after girls every chance I get. If I act like I like them, maybe I'll start to really feel that way too. But I know I'm only fooling myself. Because the one female I could have, I can't bring myself to take. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love Tira. Just not the way I love Marron.  
  
When Marron and I were little, it didn't matter. We loved each other. We looked out for each other. I was always there for him and he was always there for me. I would openly show my love for him. Always with hands clasped together, or an arm casually slung around his shoulders. I remember the day I gave into temptation and kissed his lips. So sweet and soft beneath my own. And it was on that day that I was told what I was doing was "wrong". That I'm not suppose to feel like that for my brother.  
  
So I fight it. But he sees right through me. He knows. And he loves me too. Why do I continue this? Why? It seems pointless, actually. What is wrong with loving your brother? Especially when he is beautiful. For that is what Marron is, absolutely beautiful... in every way imaginable. His long, fine, midnight-black hair. His fair skin, so pale it sometimes seems translucent and shimmery, giving off a glow akin to moonlight. His deeply intense eyes that veil himself in mystery to everyone but me. To me, his eyes speak volumes. But mostly, they proclaim him love... his love for me.  
  
But it's not just his looks. His very soul is as gorgeous as the rest of him. He is so pure. He is all about duty and honor. Somehow, he continues to be innocent, even though he battles constantly. And he is so very strong, in body and mind. He is so much better than I am. He is so beautiful...  
  
And in this moonlight, I finally give in. Kneeling next to Marron, I lean over him, and place the softest of kisses on the corner of his mouth. I draw away slowly, not wanting this stolen moment to end. To my surprise, I feel Marron's hand snake behind my head, gently pulling my lips down to his once more. The kiss starts out slowly, almost chaste, but soon it changes to a fiery intenseness that I never realized such an action could possess.  
  
When the need to breathe leads our lips to part, I silently gape at him, gasping for breath. All he does is smile and say; "I've been waiting way to long for you to come to your senses."  
  
I try to speak, but words seem to allude me, and all I can do is continue to stare at my younger brother in disbelief. Marron's smile grows slightly, and with the gracefulness only one who uses eastern magic could produce, he opens his arms, inviting me into them.  
  
After a slight hesitation, I grace him with a smile of my own and accept his invitation, laying down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder as his arms wrap around me. And I know that in the morning I will go off and chase girls and Marron and I will pretend to the world that we are nothing but brothers. For a moment, I lay there and just curse society in general, for forcing us to be like that during the day. But this is a promise. At night, he will not have to sleep alone. One day, Marron is going to fall in love and I will have to let him go. And I will, because he is my brother and I love him with all my heart. All I want is for him to be happy. But until then, he will never have to know loneliness. For I will not let him.  
  
As I slowly drift asleep in the warmth of Marron's embrace, I smile, truly happy. Quietly, I whisper into Marron's warm, broad chest, "I love you."  
  
The last thing I hear before letting sleep claim me is Marron's heartfelt response. "I love you too, Carrot, always."  



End file.
